My First Fantasy Football Week

I won't keep you in suspense: it did not go well.

The Larry Fitzjerries (Girl League)

This was the worst one. I started Kevin Kolb, and he earned one point before getting all concussed and stuff. What hurts is that my opponent was so weak that if I had started Dexter McCluster, who ended up having a big game for the Chiefs, I would have won anyway. In my defense, though, I don't think I could have known what a huge mistake starting C. J. Spiller instead of McCluster would be.

Helmet sticker: Antonio Gates, 13.6 points

Helmet un-sticker: Michael Crabtree, 1.2 points. C'mon.

The Fightin' AJ Hawks (FPL League)

This was the second worst one. I think my team might just stink, since I am bad at auctioning; I ended up with the second-least amount of points in the whole league, without the injury excuse I had in the aforementioned Girl League. Going into the last game last night, I was down by six and, in my game, had the only player left to go. I only needed six points from him. Unfortunately, that guy was Darren Sproles, whom I was apparently an idiot to start, since they constantly handed it off to Ryan Mathews instead.

Helmet sticker: Jahvid Best, 15 points

Helmet un-sticker: Darren Sproles, 0 points

The Bubby Bristers (People I Know League)

This was the least worst one. I ended up with the second-most points in the league, which gives me hope for the future, but was playing the person who had--by far--the most points in the league. His lead was so staggering by the end of Sunday that I gave all hope, totally demoralized. But then Antonio Gates and Jamaal Charles came up big on Monday night, briefly giving me hope of coming back. That hope didn't materialize, but the smaller margin of defeat softened the blow.

Helmet sticker: Jamaal Charles, 16 points

Helmet un-sticker*: Calvin Johnson, 4.5 points

*Since this is the IDP league, there were defensive guys with fewer points but who were still less disappointing. Darelle Revis scored me nothing, but that's the nature of how he plays and was a risk I took by playing him. "Megatron," however, made me sad.