Linktastic!

The Bengals' DC, Mike Zimmer, is not afraid to call a spade a spade. Or in ex-Atlanta, current Arkansas head coach Bobby Petrino's case, to call a spade a coward and an "MF." Yes, he said "MF."

Remember how hiring Gene Chizik seemed like a really, really dumb thing for Auburn to do, but now Auburn is really good? I'm at least as confused about that as everybody else.

If Oklahoma beats Missouri and Oklahoma State beats Nebraska this weekend (which I'd estimate has about a 24% chance of happening, which isn't terrible), both Oklahoma schools will be 6-0 for the first time in the history of time.

Would Texas Tech be better this year if Mike Leach were still there? Probably. (Almost certainly?)

The Big Ten's new division-tastic conference schedules may leave some schools not playing each other for four or even six years. If that happens, it means the people making the Big Ten's schedules are not good at making schedules.

And finally, I have absolutely no idea how I got to this page or even what about a third of it means (although I'm sure it's related to how Bob Stoops or somebody on his staff just stone cold makes up stuff about opposing teams insulting the Sooners), but it made me laugh.

Linktastic!

Is it the world's most incisive NFL pre-season analysis? Perhaps. It's The Onion's NFL Preview, and it's hilarious. I especially recommend the team-by-team guide.

I really wish George Lucas had let Ole Miss use Admiral Ackbar as their new Rebel mascot. That would have been delightful. Also, do you think Ackbar would have let them lose to Jacksonville State? Of course not.

Bromance: The Talk Show is coming soon to a low-rent cable station near you! I just worry that filming a show together will put a strain on their relationship.

Bromance UPDATE

Despite mutually underwhelming performances in a (by-definition underwhelming) preseason game, the Chad & T.O. love train keeps chugging along!

The two of them explaining their "Batman" and "Robin" relationship to Andrea Kraemer last night really cracked me up.

I put together a little twitter list of just the two of them. Much more Batman-and-Robin-ing there, I assure you. Here's a good one from this morning:

I can't help it, you guys--I find this whole thing hilarious and even kind of endearing. I started to find "Ochocinco" amusing in spite of myself last season, and adding T.O. to the mix just makes him even more exuberant. I'm excited to watch Bengals games this year, which means their evil plan is working.

In conclusion, coordinating segways:

That's Why Their Matching Bracelets Say Chad and T.O.!

Yesterday's big football news was undoubtedly Terrell Owens' getting out of the unemployment line and signing with the Bengals. That's right! Chad "Ochocinco" Ochocinco and Terrell "Locker Room Cancer" Owens will be teammates! According to Chad's tweets (yes, I follow "Ochocinco" on Twitter; it's a guilty pleasure), this development is very much in this vein:

I'm setting the over/under at five months before it turns into your standard-issue soap opera, amnesia optional.

(I don't know who's going to catch more passes, but I do know that Chad is funnier.)